The Well-Adjusted Penguin: Looking out for No One.

I begin a new series with this post: Life rules.

Rule Numero Uno:

No One is Looking out for Hugh Except for Hugh.

I know, you've heard the 'no one is looking out for you except...' before, but that does not speak volumes to me like Hugh did.

I'm sure that Hugh means well. I'm sure that there are folks in another dimension (not the one earth uses) that would prove Hugh beneficial in some fashion. Maybe I just missed it.

A few clicks back, I worked for Hugh. Or, tried to. Really I did. And I am sure that most of you out there have worked for someone similar.

"I need that Now! My way or the highway! I don't care what you think. You're stupid. I can't have you do anything right."

I think the final straw came one day when i wouldn't sign a document for him. It did not meet the requirements; it was being 'forced' thru, and HAD to be done right NOW. And he couldn't sign it. As I remember this was about the 4th right NOW for this particular item; I was used to this- Standard operating procedure. The refusal to approve and seal that document was probably the end of that working relationship for me and Hugh. Sorry, but there are reasons why you put a waterline a certain distance from a sanitary line, and reasons why you always put the waterline on top.

On the same project, about three months after separation, I get a call from the drafter:

Drafter: "Hey, do you remember the hotel project?"
Me: "Yep."
Drafter: "Hugh had a question."
Me: "Oh? What kind of question?"
Drafter: "He wants to know who sized the sewer line under the street that we just poured."
Me: "Hugh did. Told me how big and do it right then. He said to screw the calculations. Something wrong?"
Drafter: "He wants to know who sized the f'n pipe that we put under the street. Not big enough."

And probably my favorite story of all (by email):

Hugh (H) to Survey (S): "Hey, I just got emailed the survey for XX project and tried to print it out 11X17 and it came out letter size. Can you re-do it so it prints right?"
S to H: "Ok, here it is again. See if this works for you."
H to S: "I think you sent me the same file, still printed out letter size."
S to H: "No, that is the new file. Formatted to 11X17. You might have to change your print options."
H to S and cc:ME: "It should know what size I want to print. Maybe Jose' knows....."

Hugh is a short dude. Cannot escape from my mind the image of him one day (about a foot shorter than I, or maybe it just seemed that way) breathing hard. I think he ran the stairs instead of the elevator that time. Didn't give me enough lead time to print the copies he needed for a meeting. Wasn't patient enough to wait for them, so they just got trashed when the printed. He immediately left for the meeting to which he was already late. Always seemed to happen that way for some reason.

Anyway, it didn't end on a bad note though. After we decided we coudn't work together, there was no other postion in the company, so I was given a month to find other employment and help train the next person to take my place. About two weeks in to the month, I got the news that "I was no longer working for the group, and I was just visiting" from my work mates.

The day after my last was the Company Chrstmas Party, and I got an invite. My friend got me the best present ever for Christmas that year, and I wore it - with pride. Still have it.