I have good expectations.

And so, as it turns out,  Life is full of surprises, and even more full of future endeavours in which to take joy.

First of all, though, let me say that there seems to be all kinds of things out there not only happening to me, but happening to those that I truly care about all around me.

A few weeks ago, I came back to Texas and was graciously picked up by a friend at the airport, and driven to the place of my birth, where I would spend a few hours loading priceless sentimental objects, and continuing my dealings with grief from the loss of my parents.  This friend, as I tried to analyze my feelings, mentioned that she would not know what it would be like to lose a parent.  Today I learned, that this has happened, unexpectedly (that takes more from you than anything, I think) lost her Mother this weekend.

I knew what to say this time.  At least, I knew the two things to say, or maybe knew what to say because I knew exactly what comforted me the most:  first, 'sorry for your loss.'   Second, 'I'm here for you, call when you need to talk.'  These are even stronger when you know how they can express more than just words.

I actually don't expect a call in the short term, as I know all too well what she will be experiencing in the coming weeks.  I hope she does talk some when I call to check on her, as friends know when to do.  Just the right time.  Or at least mine did, and gave me their ear when I was willing.  And understood when I wasn't.

My prayers and thoughts to the Lester family during this time. 

This week, I'm traveling again.  During my travels, I feel it on my heart to visit a transplanted friend, at least until it snows, where he happens to be in upstate New York.  I want to see my friend, but I also want to meet his family; they are experiencing much, too.  I'm glad that my friend is up here with his family, and not 1600 miles away and trying to comfort and deal with things from afar.  His Mother was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer recently, and that is truly horrible.  The first time you hear of anything, it is especially difficult when it is advanced as such.  My prayers go daily to this family as they begin to learn, and for understanding.  Some things just don't make a lick of sense. 

As I travel to see them on Wednesday, it will be heavy on my heart.  I'm looking to wonderful time together with the Sitts family; my friend, their friends, and just good times.  I hope I can bring big smiles.  Or at least one big one from Texas.  Prayers.

These things make my issues of dealing with things seem small.  Dad's house needs foundation repair, probably a new roof, and the generator needing repaired all so we can end that chapter.  There are minimal items still there of sentimental value, as this last time it appeared to me to be just a house again.  The items that made a home no longer exist.  But the memories do, and I know they will always remain.  They are just easily brought to the surface at the house. 

And then there's me.  I kinda feel small and insignificant lately, and I know it is the grief still affecting me.  It is getting less significant, as I learn how to deal with the things that are directly in front of me personally.  The only thing I know how to go about things is to try, and try again, and pursue things until you know better.   Try and try again; go with what works, discard what doesn't when you can, and keep moving forward. 

I'm headed out of town again, maybe as a last long jaunt for awhile, as I have committed to and am expected back in a few weeks to start a new career path.  Sales support for power generation equipment.  This has the potential to fit me well.  It exposes me to oil and gas, has a salary, and probably just as beneificial, a normal routine that has evaded me for some time.  I think I was 'on hold' in my mind for awhile with Dad.  I wanted to be accessible, and I think that was stuck in my subconcious.  I have good expectations.

We will see where all this goes.  Prayers for those around me with trials.  Including myself.  But now, it's time for a few more baseball games, maybe a show, some good music, a roller coaster, and some good 'ol old fashioned hanging out with friends.

And the girl.  The whole reason I'm traveling this week.  Right now, she's one thing i'm not questioning.  I love how she giggles, how she smiles, and I love how her hand fits in mine. And the cool part is that she loves mine in hers, too, 'cause she told me so.  At least twice, even.   And everyone knows what that means.