You can do that at least.

Sometimes things just wear out.

And sometimes things seem to wear out all at one time.

My hiatus from the working world was just awesome.  At the time I decided to take time off, it was the best thing for me at that time because I was able to reflect.  I was able to step back.  I was able to see things from a different view.  I was able to take care of family issues, personal issues, and was able to be there for those that needed me.  Namely, I was able to spend time with Dad when I didn't have a job to worry about taking time off or any of those job concerns.

I started a new job a few weeks ago.  It is pretty low key, pretty reasonable at this time, as I'm learning new things, and there's a learning curve there.  I'm actually getting a few items on the radar, but they don't take very long to do, so it's good for me to ease into the cubicle life again.

And I think it's starting to get me moving in my mind again.  Every night this week so far, I've thought, "I wonder what I should do tonight..." type thoughts.  Well, gardening has been on my mind the last few weeks, as my yard has a few patches of dead, and my trees aren't looking spectacular, either.  And I'm learning that things take a little bit of time to get back to where they were after you haven't paid that much attention to them at all.

Like work clothes, for example.

I had three pairs left in my closet that didn't have rips or worn holes.  One was my 'fat pants', and they are three inches too big for me as I stand today.  They work with a belt, but look retarded.  Another pair was about an inch too small, and was uncomfortable to wear all day (leveraged around my waist with said belt). 

Then there's the shirts that I've worn for years.  Little tear there, worn out on the collar, just not professional looking anymore.  Really should clean out a bunch of those.

Then I noticed my favorite t-shirts are doing the same thing.  And my shorts that I've been wearing for years. And then my dress socks, and other socks.  And undies.  And undershirts.  It just seems everything wore out at once.

Then there's the other stuff.  My mp3 has a cracked screen, and plays through the songs by name instead of random and I can't change it.  I've got a few things to do to my teeth; two fillings and a crown.  I'm in need of some new sunglasses; I just haven't taken the time to find some.  My road bike just got new pedals and shoes in March 'cause I'd worn them out.  My 12 inch skillet is peeling.  And my gas can for the lawn mower is just about empty.

Oh, and the car registration is due.  But what got me thinking about all this was a conversation with my sister on Monday.  About how we seem to be indecisive in the same way, over some of the same things, wondering about the same issues. 

And then I have realized over the last few days that I am getting into a routine again with this job.  And, it's a good thing in a number of ways.  Making me get up and having something to do.  Something to look forward to, or at least look forward to in the evening.

I did go and get two sets of casual business attire, pants and shirts, and I'm pretty happy with them.  Tonight I'll go get some more gas, and mow the yard (I've been watering to keep it alive, and to try and get some of those dead spots back sooner than later), maybe look for some sunglasses, and maybe start getting on the elliptical every other day like I suggested to myself talking with Sister.  Maybe that will help with things.

I cleaned my desk Monday and got a bit more organized; found my desk.  Found the floor Tuesday. Maybe I'll find some sunglasses by the weekend.  And maybe run to Goodwill.   Then I'll be able to see the closet floor then.

I know some friends that are in a similar spot as me, having their own issues, working through what life has dealt them.  And it's hard, and you have to do what you can when you can.  I should know.  I've kept a lot to do, and I'm starting to work through the pile.  This will take awhile, and I'm ready.

So work through it.  Do something.  Find something to look forward to.  Something to enjoy, especially by yourself if you haven't in awhile.  You can do that at least.  It will help.