Hold On...

A conversation this week injected the thought in my brain.  That's about how it happens lately; someone says something, something clicks in the ol' brain, and then I'm intrigued to investigate and analyze.

"You wait too long."

Hm.  Lately, the simple, non 5 dollar, rediculously uncomplicated phrases seem to hit home runs.

Is that because I've learned to look for them, or learned to accept critiscisms, or what is it really?  Becuase this person really nailed it.

I do.  And it's not a super positive thing.

It might partially explain some things, and really explain lots more.

Might explain why I don't really have expectations for the most part.  I've just always expected that things good will happen to you if you wait long enough.  In career, I more times then not have set things up to where my work would maybe catch someone's eye, would get paid on the back end. I mean, wouldn't that be a reasonable expectation to wait for?  Um, yeah.

Definitely explains how simple things can really ruin a totally wonderful day, put you in a funk that requires the rest of the day, a good night sleep, and then moving a hot tub with minimal people to snap you out of your weird mood initiated by some cups in the sink that weren't there when you left.

Maybe it's the fact that since i'm trading, i'm willing to ride the wave down, but not ride the wave up.  I wait too long in the wrong direction.  I don't wait long enough on the up, but the down I will wait all day.  Two days.  Successive days past two.

Hm.

I am trying to do better, for sure.  And am doing better, at least I think so.  Trying to make those expectations that I've never had, trying to make a plan for the future.  Attempting to answer the question, "what's your five year plan?"  I need to as my buddy Google that question and see what he has to say. 

Frankly, sometimes I feel so stupid on how to start the really important stuff.  That's when I try to communicate, to learn, to feed off someone else's thoughts, actions, or just work to make a change, a small change at first for the better.

I'm getting the message...no more holding on....it's time to fish or cut bait, shit or get off the pot, or make like a baby and head out....head out in the driver's seat.