Decisions, Decisions....

Well, I'm sorry to say that Jose' has bit the dust. I had decided to wait until the weather got better, to see if there was the smallest amount of life present, but I have finally succommed to the fact that he is lifeless; nothing but a empty stick. He froze. But I have decided to replace him.

I'm reminded tonight that we make decisions each and every day. Multiple times a day. We decide to make life happen around us. Did you leave the house? Did you put on that shirt? Did you sleep in, or did you wake up by alarm? The decisions we make affect our everyday lives.

Where do you live? Why do you live there? Do you like it? If not, why are you still there? You have decided to live where you live; work where you work; play where you play.

For the last year, I have decided not to work. It was my decision; no one else decided for me; no one made me work. I had many that asked questions, made comments, advised.... but it was me and me alone that decided.

Five years ago, I decided that I would take up cycling. Over the past five years, I have covered over 5,000 miles. I have ridden 100 miles in a single day at least 6 times; over Vail Pass in Colorado three times; rode from Houston to Shiner once and Austin to Shiner twice. It comforts me; keeps me in relative shape; gives me time to think; allows me to rest my mind and relax it. Cycling has given me an outlet to reflect on some decisons I have made in my life previously, and helps to discern crucial decisions I make every day. I decide to ride. I decide to make each mile happen. Tomorrow I will cross 500 miles for this year; and, i will most likely tap 1000 miles before Colorado in July.  My decisions.  Every mile.

Conversations with friends on just about every subject as of late have been deeper than previous coversations on those same subjects in my life. I believe this to be the result of making that 'one sentence more' that I learned a few years ago. It has opened deeper coversations, deeper relationships, and has truly garnished my life with great satisfaction.

I'm thinking a lot about my past business decisions lately.  I have realized that my business decisons to this point have been made by me without expectation. I have pretty much discounted myself. I have decided against myself. I have always taken the suggestion of others mainly because I believed that the quality of my work would be seen, and I would be rewarded accordingly. How nieve.

This past year has helped me take a view to life and happiness that I would have never seen without the time off. Meeting with friends that still work, and the things that they share with me have a totally different effect on me than they once did.  They make me see things related to the decisions I have made or not made; expectations that I had that were false expectations.  You know you don't get what you want if you don't ask, right?  So true. 

I'm trying to begin again; become the successful minded, career-path minded person that reaches high expectations. Why haven't I enjoyed my career thus far? Is it me? Is it my decisions? Is it the path that I have just followed rather than taking responsibility to control that path?

I've never been the guy to have a specific plan. But looking at where I am in life, and what I want to have (I mean really want to have), it's time to get moving. Make like a baby and head out. Get off the fence and make it happen. Shit or get off the pot.

I'm trying to develop some goals, some expectations; trying to find somewhere reasonable to start when you don't know how. Talking with a friend of mine (that has really affected my life for the good as of late), I realized that my lack of expectations was striking. She shared with me a financial paradigm that scared the shit out of me. Seemed totally unrealistic. Kept me up one night. Thought about it all the next weekend. Then, I started to wrap my head around it. And I've adopted it as an expectation. Something tangible to shoot for. Something to work towards. A financial goal:

Save what you spend.

Simple. Direct. Initially impossible. Later, unreasonable.

However, in running the numbers, I realized that it is possible. Not easy, not without sacrifice, not without work. Possible.

This I can understand. This I can do.

Save what you spend.  Decide to make it happen.  Make it happen. 

And I close this post with a bumper sticker I saw that just sticks in my mind.  It was on the back of a tow truck at an intersection about a week ago, and I continue to think about it:

"How far are you going today?"  A simple concept, really.

How far are you going?